life sucks


The past few days were wonderfull. It's hard to be happier than I was. Note the past tense. You may have noticed that I cut my blog short last post well its cuz a 'friend' was on MSN and I needed him to explain an email he sent. I thought he was my friend for once I actually believed that I had a friend. well I guess I was wrong.


I tread the path of eternal darkness
I perceive small flickers of light
Hope grows in me
Yet when light is the most needed
All is pitch black

I think I love
Yet soon after
I see the truth
Love is inexistent
Hope is merely wasted energy

I am alone in this world
I should have understood
‘That’ years ago
When shall I learn?

My trust is too easily given
I shall try
And shall trust only myself
And no other

Many a time
This I have vowed
I know myself
I shall once again be fooled

Once again
My heart shall shatter
When will I learn!
I am too trusting

I prefer Hate
To love
Hate does not hurt me
But love

Has killed me many a time
Hate
I am used to it
I can bear it

But love!
I flee it like the plague!
But I lie
It was once what I desired

Note the past tense
I have been hurt
One to many times
I shall learn!

My mask
Will no longer be made of porcelain
But of the strongest metal
I will NOT allow my self to be hurt

I shall survive
Friend is merely a word
It is only Superficial
Friend does not exist.

My heart is now a puree

Sad sad sad day and its not that time of the month. You people (if anyone reads this) must really be wondering whats with my mood swings. Ok tonight was wierd but not in a good way like on April 13. I had a chearleading practice from 9 am to 5 pm today. I really wish I never joined the sqade. I'm allways mixed up as to where we are I'm unsinchronised, I am tired of the other girls PMS-ing. Its Strange while I'm ok when I play the Saxophone I m not as messed up sure I do get mixed up pretty often; Ive on ly been playing since September 2003 but I did a year of Gymnastics a year and a half of ballet : I really should be better a Chearleading cept I'm not ok so I' m back to my old tired of life self. Y'know I may as welltell my boring life story. My computer teacher does want me to practice typing.


I was born in a small town in Québec near Montréal. I lived there three years then I moved to British Columbia on Vancouver Island once again in a small town I lived there six years I really liked it there of cours was only nine when I moved from there so I don't have that many memories of the place. The only Friend I had from over there that I have kept in touch, with is well this is the net I shouldn't say her name, suffice to say I kept in touch with one of them.

Then I moved back to Québec, in another region though, I really had a hard time fitting in cuz the only french I knew was grade 2 French immersion and I couldn't really communicate, but while I was in grade three there was another English person in grade 5 that I befriended. And there to my belief lies my worst mistake. You see though I was friendly with the people in my grade I didn't really interract with them other than when stricly necessary so when my friende graduated Elementary school I became a bit of a loner. Because I had gotten used to older more mature people not that she was much older only a year,since I had doubled grade 2(dont laugh I was a homeschooled procrastinater that knew how to get out of work). I guess we were both more of the quiet type... I'm not too sure what anyways I was more interested with my books than running around and doing sports. nyways because I prefered to be alone I was the perfect person to pick on and thats exactly what happened. I hated life back then I seriously wanted to end it all. then that school closed and in grade six I got a chance to start all over again. and I took that chance. But it just fell apart in my hands in may a couple days after my B-day.

life is soo wierd. yesterday was shall we say different, in the morning I was bored half to death and I tidied up the house cuz some of my "friends" were coming over, the afternoon I was busy keeping them from destroying the house at when they left I had absolutely no patience left then something unexpected happenned making April 13 the happiest one of my Life. I dont think I'm going to be depressed for a while...

Gilreans death Ch.2... or maybe not



The lord of the rings does not belong to me it never has and
never will. Unfortunately, it was written by John Ronald Reuel
Tolkien and I THINK it belongs to his son Christopher Tolkien.
I'm not sure though.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Thorongil... No it was back to Strider now, he sailed his boat
down the Anduin. He would to visit the golden woods his foster
family would often speak of the place. He also knew that Arwen,
Lord Elronds youngest child and the only one of them he had
never met, was currently living there.



Well the real reason he was going was because he couldn't
bare going back to Rivendell yet, a place filled with memories of
his mother, Gilrean. Of course he could just meet up with
Legolas in Mirkwood, to convince his friend to go wandering the
wilds , and whilst defending innocents almost get killed. Come
to think about it that was a good idea, they could just get healed
in Lothlorien. Yes wonderful idea, and on the way he could work
on dying. That certainly was what he wanted at the time. To die.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Okay I don't think this will be what comes next but it is still a bit
funny and that's why I'm showing it to you people. it only took 15
minutes to write.



Come to think of it it's also a bit sad

You are a black dragon! Master of the shadows and
nightmares. People claim you to be evil but
you're just misunderstood. You just want to be
alone.

In Response to my friend and co-owner of this blogger account, Eohthen, I must say:
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Here are my 22 and a half reasons that life sucks:
1. School: Course school sucks allways did and always will but think of it this way when your done with it you can go an get rich.
2. Almost no friends: I'm your friend!!! ... so you said allmost better to have one true friend than many untrue friends.
3. Hardly ever see the few friends I do have: erm... well I live far away but hey when my parents go on their house hunting trip perhaps you could come over... no parents... I wonder if I could find some one to buy some beer... I've never had ANY...
4. Karaté: well I don"t know what say here... you didn't tell me whats wrong with it...
5. Getting bullied at camp, when your obligged to go: What camp? Scout Camp? When? Where? I'll show them what abully is...(OK so that sooo doesnt fit with my personnality)
6. Not being able to get rid of my phobias: What phobias.... MUAHAHAHA ]-:-[
7. Everybody makes fun of me: I DON'T!
8. When ever I get a bit of sunshine in my life, it gets clouded out: ok so its a rainy day! But after the rain the Snow goes aways and everything starts growing, and being green, not in the green i'm going to throw up green of course.
9. Getting into fights with sister 24/7 , 52 weeks a year; there are 54 weeks in a year! I didnt know...right well be brave gety revenge and cut her hair...Wait! I didnt say that! calmly talk out your differences... yeah thats right...
10. Getting blamed for stuff I didn't do: Be a super sleuth and find proof that it wasnt you!
11. Having to get up at 5:41 3 days a week to deliver the Quotidien: I deliver it six days a week, I have to wake up at 5:15 so I don't miss my bus AND I have to deliver 2 routes worth of Citadin's every thursday plus I tried to deliver them on rollerblades so I fell on my butt and it still hurts!
12. My mum hates Harry Potter: So does mine. It was based on narnia wich was based on the bible though...
13. My sister hates Harry Potter: so does mine.
14. My second brother hates Harry Potter: umm well I don't have a brother... by the way are you talking about Chris or Aaron?
15. I'm not aloud to own Harry Potter: in wich sense? cuz I'm not allowed either way.
16. Allergies: don't have Any*dances around like a the madwoman that she is* erm sorry you should have played in the dirt when you were an infant. I heard it's good for you... But in the meantime no nuts!
17. Getting Sick: YECH is right but every one gets sick every once in a while
18. Everybody talks behind my back: I don't.
19. My mum thinks that snakes, turtles and lizards are toxic evil animals: B-but they're COOL(literally)... so decided to join the wonderfull house of Slytherin have you...
20. Always confused: well umso is everyone else...Look at the Raeliens or the crusades. Every one is trying to find out where life came from. We're all confused.
21. No matter how hard I try, I alway pick up a "go back to start square" card. : Huh?
22.5. Being obbliged to do tons of stuff I don't like: welcome to the club! I HATE doing my room! Besides when its clean I can't find anything but when its messy I know exacly where my stuff is.